"What's the point of having a blog if you never write anything'', I ask myself.
"Then write something, already.'' I reply to myself.
"Fine. I will."
"Fine."
This schizophrenic interlude was brought to you the makers of psychotropic drugs. They're not just for breakfast any more.
Anyhoo....
I don't really consider myself a 'funny' person. But funny, apparently, is in the eye of the beholder. Not everyone gets my sense of humor. To the pop-culture-challanged among us, the things I say are probably more confusing than witty.
For example,the other day in the health food store the clerk was giving out samples of fruit- flavored protein shakes. When he offered me one, he asked ''Do you like pina coladas?" So of course I replied "yeah, but getting caught in the rain really sucks." *blank stare,blank stare, cricket noises* "Uh...we don't sell umbrellas."
So maybe the guy was too young to recognize the reference. But c'mon really? Who doesn't know The Pina Colada song?
Even my own children (the loves of my life) don't always get my humor.
The other day, Zakk was doing some yard work which involved using an ax ( could have been a hatchet, who knows. potato potahto) Anyway when I arrived home with Nikk and Joey and saw the ax, I immediately grabbed it up, made the crazy face and said "Heeeeere's Johnny!" Instead of an outburst of laughter at my spot-on impression of Jack Nicholson, here's what I got:
"Who's Johnny?"
"Do you mean Uncle John?"
"No, stupid. He doesn't use an ax. He fixes air conditioners.''
"He could use an ax if he wanted to. You're the one who's stupid!"
"You're so dumb. You don't know anything."
"MOOOOOOM!!!!!
Why do I even bother.
Is my humor just too vague? Every time I make what I think is a witty comment around my husband, I have to explain it to him. My least favorite phrase in the world has to be "It's funny because....''
For instance when my kids were watching Sponge Bob, I wondered aloud if Mr Crabs ever had a case of the humans. *cricket sounds, eye roll, and the ever popular she's-not-right-in the-head head shake* I tried to explain it to him but by doing so, it made even less sense. I guess if you have to explain it it wasn't that funny in the first place.
Could it be that my humor is just too high brow for some people? Nah, that couldn't be it. Just yesterday I made a comment about a race horse being named Anal Sex. I said he'd never win because he's always coming up the rear. That's pretty damn low brow humor. But in my defense, horse racing was on TV at the time and they do use the phrase "coming up the rear" a lot.