Party Like a Pine Tree

Well, I've already mentioned what I think about the use of the word SPAM as a negative thing. In case you didn't know, I don't like it one darn bit! But the use of the word COOKIES , oh good Lord! Now that really riles me! Cookies are good, sugary, sweet, tasty bits of happiness, not something to be "blocked" on your computer!
Whose idea was it to name those whatever-the-hell-they-are-things COOKIES?! Who makes these decisions? Does somebody just start calling something by some random name until it sticks? Because if that's the case, I think I'll start calling pelicans eggrolls.
"I was down by the docks yesterday and I saw this flock of eggrolls attack a guy.''
Or maybe I could call Rock stars pine trees.
"An assortment of pine trees have announced plans to perform at a concert to benefit homeless squirrels."
Did I forget to tell you that "squirrels" is what we now call middle-aged sea captains?
This is INSANITY !
I am so sick of all these new internet phrases I could just...well, I'd tell you what I could just do but by the time I finish typing it it would probably mean something else.
Let me tell ya, when it comes to the language of the internet, nothing makes me feel older and more out of the loop.
In my day a"down-load" was a bowel movement and "going viral" meant a trip to the free clinic! And most importantly, SPAM was --and is, and always will be-- a tasty pork product!